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The state of homelessness is at a critical juncture in San Diego and is the most pressing issue facing our city. The Lucky Duck Foundation has launched a movement to unite San Diego and bring hope and solutions to our most vulnerable neighbors. But this task is impossible without a group of like-minded organizations working together. One of the organizations that the Lucky Duck Foundation has engaged with is Be A Friend – Impact A Life, a step-by-step program designed to train and activate volunteers who want to help by positively impacting the lives of individuals experiencing homelessness through the power of friendship. Studies have shown that one of the best ways for our neighbors on the streets to connect to services and move forward in life is through developing healthy relationships.
Be A Friend is a one-on-one supported friendship program that provides a training platform for service organizations which allows them to activate volunteers who desire to build a friendship with someone who is homeless, at risk of homelessness, or newly housed. Be A Friend trains and supports volunteers with a unique guided playbook called “The Journey of Relationship” which empowers them to build a trusted friendship, helping transition these new friends from homelessness to a better life. The Be A Friend program provides a team approach in setting ‘person centered goals’ and a step-by-step plan for daily living activities once the homeless friend transitions into housing.
Be A Friend is a foundational program based on the proven belief that healthy relationships are the key to real change. Being a friend to someone in need allows them to reconnect to the life they had before homelessness or establish a new connection to the life they desire.
We invite you to join the Be A Friend-Impact A Life community by becoming a Volunteer, Service Provider Partner, or Program Ambassador. Please contact us today to get involved. The life you change might be your own.
True connection offers healing and is often the missing link to real change
It’s the beginning of a relationship and takes persistence and patience to grow
With empathy, compassion and an open mind, celebrating the uniqueness and value of each person
Being and staying connected has long term, positive effects on one's life
Tucked in the back corner of a Grocery Outlet parking lot, right next to the dumpsters, we attended an outdoor church for the homeless in a part of downtown San Diego. Our family was drawn there because one of our sons, Timmy, was also living on the streets in another part of the country at the time, and we wanted to try to understand the community better. It somehow helped us feel closer to Timmy and what he was going through as we sought to connect with people who were facing similar challenges.
Although we felt uncomfortable and nervous at first, it did not take long for us to realize that many of our perceptions about these incredibly resilient people were actually — MISperceptions. As we began to hear the stories of the different people we met, it became clear that many in attendance were homeless for lots of reasons; financial hardship, abuse, but almost all had experienced significant trauma in their lives. I was captivated by their rawness and amazed at their resiliency and found myself longing to understand more and help in some way. It was perplexing to me that although I knew that there were lots of resources and funds available, many people were not using these resources and were just “existing” in dire situations. They seemed unable to navigate simple tasks that might allow them to take advantage of that help that could lead to a better living situation.
As we kept showing up and spent more and more time together, fragile bonds of trust began to form, which slowly blossomed into friendships. We began to bring more of our family and some of our friends down and they were touched in the same way and also wanted to help. To our surprise and delight, we found that by simply extending the gift of friendship it was wildly transformative.
What we also learned, however, was that the homeless problem was really big and the system too complex for us to tackle alone. To really make an impact, we knew we needed to create a structure to help engage and activate more of our community to come and join us in developing new friendships with these misunderstood neighbors who desired to be seen, heard, and loved.
As we listened and learned more, we continued trying to support our son, Timmy. We shared advice we had heard, connected him with mentors who had also been addicted and homeless, and tried our best to encourage him. Unfortunately, none of our suggestions were welcomed or even appreciated and he asked us to stop sending people to counsel him. Then one day in frustration, I asked Timmy, “What do you want? How can we help you?” For the first time, he admitted that he was just “really lonely” and told me that all he really wanted was a friend. Not advice, not counsel, not someone to judge him, but somebody he could just be a friend with. And that was the catalyst that began our friendship programs. Over the next four years, we discovered that a “trusted human connection” was a missing link that could be the bridge that helps an individual transition out of homelessness and into a better life. When someone feels seen, heard, loved, and realizes that their life matters (as I believe God does), there is hope for real change!
I will be forever grateful to those original friends who were willing to open their hearts and be the inspiration for both “Walk With Me” and the “Be A Friend – Impact A Life” friendship programs. Thanks for believing in the power of friendship.
Mary Benirschke
Founder,
Walk With Me
Be A Friend-Impact A Life
Being born in Russia and living in an orphanage was a tough start. At three years old, I was adopted and welcomed into a loving American family. But as I grew up, I was very angry—and blamed everyone else for my issues. I saw myself as a “victim” and started acting out and rebelling against the very people who were trying to help me.
In my early 20s I developed some dangerous addictions which led to a life on the streets for over 5 years. Although I met many people that said they wanted to help and to get to know me, most of them just gave me advice and would tell me what I should do. My parents tried to connect me with people who had overcome their addiction, but I pushed them away. All I really wanted was a friend. I was extremely lonely and just wanted someone to talk to without judgement. Making a connection with someone who is living a healthier life, sharing stories, and asking questions is, what I believe, the bridge that many people on the streets need in order to move forward to a better life.
I ended up in jail where I met a friend like that, reignited my faith in God, learned how to move past my anger and longed to move forward to a new life. Because of the bad choices I had previously made, however, it was difficult to get a job and I felt trapped in my circumstances. But then another caring person saw something special in me and gave me a second chance that I knew I did not deserve. I embraced it gratefully.
I have been clean now for over three years, work two jobs, have reconnected with my family and am passionate about inspiring others not to give up. In my life, a trusted friend was the missing link I needed to begin moving to a better life. There are so many people out there who care and who are willing to give us the second chance we need… to walk alongside and just be a friend.
-Timmy
Timmy’s Place is a pizzeria and print shop that employs homeless youth. It’s a place where we trust young people and believe in them before they believe in themselves. A friend and a caring community came alongside our son, Timmy, and that made all the difference. Seeing someone’s heart through all the ‘roughness’ is truly the spirit of Timmy’s Place. When you enjoy our delicious food or use our print shop services to create something special, you are offering that same “second chance” to a group of young people just like our son. Be A Friend to someone and Impact a Life…while impacting your own along the way.
Rolf and Mary Benirschke
“The missing link in transitioning out of homelessness is often a friend.“
We invite you to join the movement by engaging as a volunteer, Service Provider, or program Ambassador. Please, contact us today to get involved. The life you change might be your own.
